Strangeways, Southall Street, M60 9AH

Strangeways, or to use its correct but duller name, HMP Manchester, is situated north of the city centre. It was opened in 1868 and Grade II listed in 1974. 

‘Strangeways Here We Come’, The Smiths’ final album was released in September 1987 after the group had split up. On the subject of the album’s title Johnny Marr said “I was always intrigued by the word ‘Strangeways’, I remember as a kid when I first heard that the prison was really called that, I wondered had it not occurred to anybody to change the name?”. Whilst Morrissey explained it with “Really it’s me throwing both arms up to the skies and yelling, “Whatever next?”

The prison makes a brief appearance in the video for ‘I Started Something I Couldn’t Finish’. 

You may notice that the video, directed by Tim Broad, is titled 'Stop Me If You Think That You've Heard this One Before', this was planned to be released however there were objections to the 'mass murder' lyric following the Hungerford shooting in August of 1987. It was felt that the BBC were unlikely to play it so 'I Started Something...' was released instead.

At the beginning there is a shot of a road sign with directions to Strangeways as well as Deansgate, Salford and Cheetham Hill. The prison’s tall ventilation tower can be clearly seen in the background. The video also takes in Salford Lad's Club and surrounding streets and the Albert Finney shop. 

I'm guessing that some of the tall brick walls that the Moz-alikes cycle past are also part of the prison. If only I'd been there.

Well, believe it or not, I could have been. Let me tell you a story...

In the eighties being a teenage Smiths fan was a fairly lonely existence. I knew a couple of people who showed an interest but not to the near obsessive level that I did. In order to satisfy my hunger for Smiths related content I religiously purchased the NME, Melody Maker, Sounds and Smash Hits, but there was one publication that was more important than all of these put together: the Smiths Indeed fanzine.

Put together by Mark Taylor in Bristol, each issue contained everything a Smiths fan could need, previously unseen photographs, articles on a wide variety of subjects from George Formby to Victoria Wood, gig reviews and adverts for bootleg tapes. 

I don’t have any recollection of how I discovered its existence. It’s possible I may have purchased a copy at one of 'The Queen is Dead' gigs. It immediately became an important part of my life and a link to other people who shared my passion. I was one of many Smiths fans from across the country who looked forward to our bulging stamped addressed envelopes dropping through our letter boxes. 

It’s easy to forget that in those simpler, pre-internet days there wasn’t an easy way to track down people with similar tastes to yours. I suppose you could strike up a conversation at a gig if you felt particularly brave, but let's face it, this was unlikely to happen. So, like a lot of people I sent Mark an advert which duly appeared in volume five:

18yr old Smiths fanatic would love to correspond with others with a similar devotion to swap thoughts, experiences, pictures, cuttings etc.

It wasn’t long before I started receiving mail from various parts of the country and started corresponding with like-minded people. We swapped our thoughts and opinions on Smiths’ related matters and I was introduced to other bands I’d not yet discovered. The Wedding Present and the Brilliant Corners were the two that made the biggest impression.

It was September 1987 when out of the blue I received a letter with a Bristol postmark. I recognised Mark’s handwriting and wondered what this could be? I wasn’t due another Smiths Indeed. I opened the envelope and read the enclosed letter.

I couldn’t quite believe what I was reading.  Mark was looking for Smiths fans to appear in the video for the next Smiths single release. I wasn’t sure why I was one of the lucky ones to get this opportunity, looking back there were probably lots of other people receiving the same invite. Once the shock had subsided I read the letter in more detail.

Mark (on behalf of Morrissey I assumed) was looking for some Smiths ‘apostles’ to be filmed following Morrissey around Manchester. There were just two pre-requisites: firstly, you had to have a quiff, secondly you needed to be able to ride a bike.

Not too onerous you might think. How wrong you are. I’m not sure what haircut I had at the time but it was definitely my pre-quiff period. I wondered how long it would take me to grow a decent Moz style barnet. Probably too long. Oh, and I couldn’t ride a bike either. I’d never had one as a kid so never got around to learning.

Bollocks.

I sat down re-reading the letter hoping I’d misread the contents. I hadn’t. I couldn’t have been less qualified for this once in a lifetime opportunity if I’d tried. To say I was disappointed doesn’t really cover it. For most of the thirty-nine years since then I’ve had a quiff of one sort or another. I’ve also learned how to ride a bike. So if Morrissey’s ever looking to film a similar video with people in their mid-fifties I reckon I’m now in with a chance.